🧱 The Core Roles:
- The Narcissist (usually a parent): Needs constant admiration and control; uses manipulation, guilt, and gaslighting to stay in power.
- The Enabler (often the other parent): Supports the narcissist’s image, ignores abuse, and prioritizes “keeping the peace.”
- The Golden Child: Idealized and used to boost the narcissist’s image — praised for obedience, not authenticity.
- The Scapegoat: Blamed for all problems — becomes the emotional dumping ground and often the truth-teller.
- The Invisible Child: Neglected emotionally; learns to stay small and unnoticed to avoid conflict.
🧠 Emotional Dynamics:
- Love is conditional and based on performance.
- Boundaries are disrespected or punished.
- Reality is distorted through gaslighting.
- Authenticity is unsafe — kids learn to mask their true feelings.
- Guilt, shame, and fear are the primary control mechanisms.
🧬 Long-Term Impact:
Children raised in this system often grow up to:
- Struggle with self-worth and boundaries
- Attract toxic relationships
- Experience CPTSD, anxiety, and chronic self-doubt
- Confuse abuse with love
- Become people-pleasers or hyper-independent
Healing starts when you realize this wasn’t a “normal” family — it was a system built to serve one person at the expense of everyone else.
